In my body it is about twelve measurable inches from my head to my heart. In my soul it has taken 46 years to travel the journey from being lost in my orphan mind to being found in my heart as a royal and beloved daughter of The King of the Universe. The physical world will always underestimate the depth of the spiritual world that calls us back to the place of peace – shalom.
I am not ashamed to tell you that close to five months ago I flat-lined. It was code red in my home. I fell deep into the pit of despair, a place where I had heard tales that past Christian leaders had fallen into. I was certain I had put out enough safety stops to keep me from falling into such a pit. I was not going to be another one of “those” leaders. Like Peter before Jesus’ death and resurrection, I was committed. I made my vows. There was no turning back.
It turns out that my heart wrote another check that even my mind, soul and strength couldn’t cash. Just like Peter, I had blind spots. Blind spots that only the people who lived in my home could possibly see.
“Lord have mercy on me, the sinner.”
Five months ago, God spoke like a hurricane. God’s voice is often found in a whisper, but if our lives are too big and too busy to respond to His whisper, God will crank up the volume because Love never gives up. When necessary, a fire, great wind, or an earthquake will rock our worlds. A good Father who is in charge won’t quit on his kids. He won’t quit until His kids are complete and living in line with their Kingdom design; free from worry, strife, striving, guilt, shame or fear.
Oh how God loves us. He loves us so much. Now brave yourself for this next statement, because it’s not going to be an easy one to swallow. He loves us so much so that He will wound us and let our worlds fall apart so that we might turn and be healed.
“For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.”– Job 5:18
I have learned that some of the deepest levels of personal healing will only come through earth-shattering pain. Like the Good Samaritan who finds a bleeding man on the side of the street, in order to save a life, God draws near and presses hard into our wounds to stop the bleeding.
No pain feels good at the time–but oh–what a sweet journey into rest and recovery.
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:11
Five months ago I was unexpectedly knocked unconscious and woke up in Heaven’s I.C.U. Like most people who escape death, life for me will never be the same. Deep rest and recovery are no longer good suggestions for me, like something a fitness magazine might suggest. Nope. For me, established rhythms of rest are the gifts I have received. These are the same gifts that God was whispering to me that I should take before my code red, but my stinking thinking would not permit me to take them.
I find myself in a new and strange land. A land where striving has ceased, a land where God tends to the ground through the watering of His Holy Spirit.
“The land you are entering to take over is not like the land of Egypt, from which you have come, where you planted your seed and irrigated it by foot as in a vegetable garden. But the land you are crossing the Jordan to take possession of is a land of mountains and valleys that drinks rain from heaven. It is a land the LORD your God cares for; the eyes of the LORD your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end.” -Deuteronomy 11:10-12
This is Act II of my story. This part includes scenes like seeking silence (a crazy new thing for a girl who always needed noise and could only fall asleep with the TV on as a kid), solitude (something I despised before because most recovering orphan spirits hate to be alone), living with limits (something new for a “can do” gal), and practicing the Sabbath on the regular. You will certainly hear me talk more about all of these things in this ministry as we move towards God in wholeness together.
Through rest and recovery, I have kissed heaven.
I have seen the face of God.
God is seated. A position of authority.
God is rested. An effect of living from faith.
And He throws a really, really good party in an I.C.U.
Welcome to Act II of my story.
This part is going to be good.
This workout will flip-flop you back and forth between cardio and resistance training. Sure to keep your body guessing. Muscle confusion? No big deal. God is never confused about us. Get comfortable being uncomfortable in this workout.
Feeling called to become a #fitnessteacherGOSPELPREACHER? Click HERE for more information. Our next class begins the week of 8/21!