I wasn’t quite sure when to write this update, although I have felt the nudge to write it for some time. It’s been a year since I removed my breast implants, and today is Memorial Day, 2016. And since Memorial Day is our national holiday to honor those who have fought in battles for our freedom and to honor those who have died, I thought to myself “How appropriate. I feel like both.” (And a BIG gracious, reverent and honorable thank you to all our men and women in uniform. Thank you for fighting for our freedom; the same freedom that allows me to talk about the good love of God so openly.)
I was born for the battle of God’s love and freedom. I have fought in many wars against my life, and by clinging desperately to God’s love, hungrily pursuing after more of His heart, and the prayers of the saints, I have won and I am winning. I am winning my life by losing my life. It is oh so sweet, friends. Oh so sweet! It’s important that I say this again: God wasn’t going to love me any more for removing my implants NOR love me any less for leaving them in. He was inviting me to know something greater about the abundant life.
A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of. – John 10:10 The Message
I am living life like never before and I am dying. Parts of me continue to die. Like living according to what is seen rather than is what unseen, believing lies that I am not enough, or I am too much, devoting myself to worldly affections that have no staying power, caring more about the love and acceptance of people over the unconditional love and freedom found in The One who loves me, because He loves me, because He loves me.
His love chases out ALL my fears.
His love makes me bold.
His love empowers me to do things I NEVER thought I could do.
And His love always knows best!
Over the past year, I have had many people come up to me to tell me their stories and share their gratitude for my courage. I have heard some amazing stories of how God used my story as one stone, dropped in an ocean of grace, that caused a ripple effect of freedom for others.
Now, allow me to get straight to the concrete truths that I have learned and experienced over the past year: (Warning..I am not going to hold back:)
Overall, I can say I am less conscious of my SELF, and I am more conscious of the grace, mercy, and goodness of a Father who madly loves everything about me and how He made me. He gave me a body that didn’t require changing, with a heart that would. How easy it is for us all to get that one backward; making it about changing our outsides, so we don’t have to deal with the deeper things of our hearts.
He wants our hearts. End of story. Drop the mic. Boom.
Beloved, if you are thinking about changing your body, save yourself a lot of money and give Him your heart. He’s never going to stop wanting to get that thing on his surgery table anyways. Quick, do yourself a favor and climb down off the plastic surgeon’s table and climb up on The Good Surgeon’s table. You are the crown of His creation.